- Getting to the root- Call your stressor out by name, write it on a piece of paper and give it a name. Being able to identify what obstacles are standing in your way will help you to understand how best to deal with the stressor at hand.
- Determine how your stressor is making you feel. What emotion am I feeling right now? It sounds silly, but being able to validate your feelings and connect that to the cause is going to be key.
- Identify what you have control over. We are human and there are things we can directly control and things outside of what we can physically do to achieve relief from something that is harming us. For example, we don’t have control over someone else. We DO have control over ourselves and how we choose to react to someone else.
- Set boundaries. Decide what you will and will not tolerate, think about the root cause and the emotion, tie this into what you can control. Telling yourself what you will and will not tolerate whether it’s a boundary needing to be set with someone else, work, or another situation, will aid in providing you a tool in your toolbox. We are capable of walking away when we feel uncomfortable in a situation or when we feel not prepared to discuss a situation at hand due to our emotions.
- This might be the MOST important tool for managing stressors. Find your release. Figure out what it is that relieves you of the emotion that the stress is causing you and determine what brings you joy. Be sure that the reliever is not something that will cause harm in another way. If we are wanting to move forward and relieve stress we are going to want to do so in a healthy manner. What do you think about these? Are there any other tools you have in your toolbox?
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